using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
