Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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