They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize