If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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