Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
