Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
