she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
