i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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