All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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