you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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