I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
