marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize
