Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just gift wrapped bread.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
