ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i out mim tonsoeep
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