Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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