So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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