...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
