omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
