If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Randomize