Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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