we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
