No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
