So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
