..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
another moral hangover. fuck.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
