No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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