I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
