Yo dont text me then not text me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
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