So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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