then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
