Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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