All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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