my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
