Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We have started to decorate penises.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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