I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
