Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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