Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
BRING THE BAGELS
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
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