@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
