why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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