I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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