if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
