i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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