I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
