I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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