I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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