kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
