JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
