I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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