He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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