wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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