i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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