hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
