My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
