No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
