i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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