Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
