Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
