Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I have post one night stand depression
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