I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
