Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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